Indiana Jones and You Expect Me to Believe That?!

Ok, so Alanna and I just got out of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls, and I have only one thing to say. What the fuck? That didn't make a lick of sense. I'll warn you now that there are likely to be spoilers in my review, so if you don't want to know what happens, don't read this. I'm brutal at spoilers. But mu pros and cons at the end are spoiler free, so you can just read those.

The opening sequence, in Area 51, is kinda lame, but it does set up the enemy pretty well, so it's alright. I mean, it didn't seem incredibly far-fetched. Well, ok, Indy surviving a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator does, but I can live with that. It just felt like he was helping the bad guys more than Indy would. Somewhere in here, you find out that Cate Blanchett's character is psychic. Seriously?

It doesn't really feel like Indy until he meets Mutt. Then! Then, there's plot. Then, there's intrigue. Then, it's like they realised they knew exactly how to do this and do it well. The next hour or so is CLASSIC Indiana Jones. Especially when it's just Ford and LaBouef, searching for the skull. And when they get captured and taken to the Amazon, well, it's still all good. Ok, so the Russians' plan to use the crystal skulls to hypnotize the world into doing their bidding sucks, but I can look past that. Besides, the chase scene that's about to happen ranks right up there with the Raiders chase scene.

From then out, well, now the movie becomes kinda farcical. I mean, would they really survive going over three waterfalls like that? I don't think so. And while the trip to El Dorado was cool, it just seemed like everything was too easy.

The end sequence, though, turned what could have been a great movie into a mediocre one really fast. It's a serious WTF moment. I mean, I was able to suspend disbelief that, ok, these crystal skulls were from aliens that landed thousands of years ago and taught the Incans everything. And, ok, whoever returns the skull to its place will be granted its power. Sure. These are legends. But when the whole temple becomes first an inter-dimensional portal and then a flying saucer, complete with a CG alien, well, then you lost me. I was ready to leave, and was very happy the movie was over.

I left this film feeling dejected, like it was a piece of crap. Like I had just sat through the worst movie ever. That's how much I hated the end. But as I talked about it, and thought about it more, I realized that the good far outweighed the bad, and while the final scene moved from far-fetched to outlandishly stupid, I enjoyed it overall.

Harrison can still play Indy (though definitely an OLD Indy! Everything he did screamed, "Oh, not again!"), and Shia held his own against him. I used to have a beef with LaBouef, but he was good. He can't take over, but he was a welcome addition. Cate Blanchette's character was lame, but she looked cool. That's about it. And it was nice to see Marion back.

Speaking of Marion, I think the final scene, the wedding, was a touching tribute to the fans, just like all the little nods and winks along the way. If Shia ever puts that fedora on, though, there will be hell to pay.


Pros: C'mon! It's Indiana Jones! But seriously, we get the epic nature of the originals, and the acting is great. Mutt Williams is a great addition. Also, possibly a better chase scene than Raiders (shock)!

Cons: The CGI is a little strong in places, even if it does make things more grandiose. There are more then a couple feats that not even Indy could pull off (nuclear blast, anyone?). The plot is more than a little far-fetched. The climax will leave you scratching your head saying WTF!

Overall: The more I think about this movie, the more I realize that, despite my gripes, I definitely enjoyed it and would go see it again. It's fantastic to see Indy on screen again, and I'm (apparently) willing to look past all the flaws and just have fun. Highly Recommended!

Grade:
B